Second Opinions: Rethinking the Value of an "Ugly" Gift
Every day, each of us encounters people, ideas and items that we have preconceived ideas about. No matter the depth of our education or the breadth of our experience, all of us define and judge what crosses our path—it's how our brains organize and make sense of our complex world.
Sometimes our preconceptions are on target, but often our first impression is wrong and a “second opinion” is in order.
Our new chief physician executive, Rawle “Tony” Seupaul, MD, was given an unexpected going-away gift when he left the University of Arkansas for Carilion earlier this year, and he found within it a second gift: the opportunity to unlearn a preconception in order to discover a deeper value in an “ugly” item, and a deeper relationship with the giver.
Read on for Dr. Seupaul’s story of "The Ugly Hat" and how he’s using it to guide his leadership here at Carilion.
Do you have a “second opinion” story? Share it in the comments below and it could be included in a future article!
The Ugly Hat
Moving to a new job and new town has given me pause to reflect on friendship, and I wanted to share a recent experience that reminded me of the impact each of us has on the lives around us.
Before returning to Roanoke for the new year, my wife Tanya and I made a pit stop at our home in Little Rock to collect our dog Hurricane and a few items we needed. Two of my former faculty, Travis and Carly, insisted that we meet before I left. I have known the two of them for over 15 years and have had the privilege of watching them grow from residents to phenomenal academic faculty, to marriage and parenthood.
They brought me a gift.
I chuckled and assumed it was a slight jab since I am a die-hard Miami Hurricane fan—I know this may be viewed as a character flaw by the Hokie faithful—and Travis is an Iowa Hawkeye.
In my initial opinion, this was not a great gift!
Travis soon let me know that there was more to his gift than met my discriminating eye. “You have become family," he said, "the much older brother I never had. And, if you’re in my family, you need some Hawkeye gear.”
I was deeply touched. I didn’t know, despite our long-term friendship, that he held me in that regard, especially after being his boss for the past 10 years.
My second opinion views the hat, and the friendship, in a much more positive light.
This story reminds me of the influence we have on the lives of others in ways we may never fully understand or appreciate. As healthcare professionals, more than any other industry, this is emphatically true. What we do matters to those we are privileged to serve.
I also recognized that, no matter what our life experiences have been, we are prone to making assumptions. I have been on the receiving end both professionally and personally—as I suspect you have. While many of these “assumptions” have little consequence, they can also deeply hurt those we care for and care about.
Embedded in Carilion’s core values is mutual respect while embracing diversity and inclusion. Now more than ever, it’s important to realize how discrimination, microaggressions and mistreatment are far too common in our society and healthcare systems. The journey to improvement begins with us.
And I hope that the next time I come across an “ugly” hat, I will take the time to uncover its true beauty.
